Some people say that the best ways to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Increasing the number of sports facilities is considered by some as the best way to improve overall well-being,whilst others think there are also other alternatives that are required. Although sports can help us in some cases, i see it in limited scale to maintain our health. In my opinion, we need other optimal ways such as healthy diet and losing inactive lifestyle,as well.
On the one hand, sports facilities can constitute of main parts of staying in shape. While some work for a long time, without having a break, he or she should not worry about being physically unhealthy if they do any exercise on a daily basis. For instance, in Uzbekistan, many people work in 5-to-9 jobs that do not permit employees to walk around, apart from lunch. However, majority of those are keeping their fit through going to the gym in the evenings.
On the other hand, I believe that people should learn healthy eating habits,refusing foods that affect negatively on health. Regardless of workout, many people are prone to suffer from some diseases like obesity, if they do not eat healthily. In addition, people should leave inactive lifestyle to keep in shape. As, people are, nowadays, addicted to their gadgets for a long time or staying in front of screen, so that not only is it becoming bad habit, but it is also tending to be ineffective to be healthy despite improving sports facilities.
In conclusion, whereas some believe that it is enough to improve the number of sports facilities, I find it as limited variation of improving public health. Therefore, it is important to form better eating, with high-valued ingredients and lose inactive lifestyle, with having a chain with doing exercise.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.

The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as some awkward phrasings that can detract from the overall clarity. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and word order, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples needed to support the points being made.