“Some people say that the education system is the only critical factor to development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?”
Education plays a vital role in the development of a country. Therefore, some people think that the education system is the only important factor to the development of a country and they may be right.
Education is the foundation of well developed society. It is rightly said, ‘education is a ladder for success’. If all the people of any country are educated then they becomes broadminded, civilized and progressive. An educated society improves the standard of life as well. Besides this, education also creates a good employment opportunity and therefore country does not have to suffer from big problems like unemployment. Educated peoples are more aware of problems such as pollution and many more. A country becomes technologically advanced because of educated people.
Not only this, but also by giving importance to education, the nations can get rid of problems like iliteracy, poverty, unemployment and population growth that delay the progress of a nation. The crime rate can also be kept under check. The standard of living of the people will go up. If the nations wants to be progressive it is very important that the people are more educated and progressive. Any country can become more technologically advanced and developed because of education.
However, there are other factors that also play an important role in the development of a country. Such as governments have to encouraged people to do so.
In conclusion, I would like to say that a good education system will lead to a developed country.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance on the issue.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage that could be corrected for better clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for better clarity and precision.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points made. The conclusion could also be strengthened by summarizing the main points and restating the position more emphatically.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support the points made.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.