Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a view that adverts serve one particular purpose and that is improvement of the sales of the products that do not have any concrete usage. I do believe this statement as there are numerous companies that are aiming to gain profit by selling aesthetically pleasant things that do not serve any purpose. However, I believe this is not the case for all of the products in the market.
Advertising by definition is a marketing tool that enables companies to further promote their products to gain profit. In order to make people buy their products, these companies come up with ways of making people want to buy the products. Take for example the brand Coca-cola which continuously advertises how delicious their fuzzy drink is, how tasty is it, and how famous people drink it. They create images in their promotion videos that are vibrant in colors to trigger people’s senses and want to buy it. Thus, people do not nessecerally need this drink, there are other things that can bring joy to them, but they see the advertising and get tricked to buy the drink.
Advertising, however, is not only about the promotion of the products for profit, it is also a way of getting individuals’ attention to some alarming issues in the society. With the help of advertising people can ask for aid from their fellow citizens or online friends. What I mean is whenever the person is having some problems with his health and he urgently needs the liver transplant – which by the record needs a sufficient amount of money – and he does not have any. Then this person can advertise his issue to a wider audience to get some financial, emotional help.
In conclusion, the main purpose of ads is to attract more people to gain more profit as it is done by the company mentioned in the example above. However, it is not the case when some individuals need help and use advertising as a tool to help them find proper aid.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your examples are relevant and clearly support your argument.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, but there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “aesthetically pleasant things” could be rephrased as “visually appealing products,” and “fuzzy drink” could be rephrased as “carbonated drink.” Improving the precision and appropriateness of vocabulary will enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “how tasty is it, and how famous people drink it” could be rephrased as “how tasty it is and how popular it is among people,” and “he does not have any” could be rephrased as “he does not have any money.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the purpose of advertising and providing examples to support the points made. The writer presents a clear introduction and conclusion, and the body paragraphs are well-organized and focused. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the points made, such as data on the effectiveness of advertising methods or consumer behavior. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and providing a more definitive statement on the topic.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully, providing more detailed examples and evidence.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points made in the essay.