Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, competing industries increase the quantity of advertisements, that customers may face. In my view, these numerous advertisings have some impacts on society, such as frustrating people with repetitions or too many posters, which cause environmental issues. In order to solve it, I suggest making advertisements more expensive and implementing rules related to paper waste.
Competition among companies became more serious in this complex economic situation, so they try to attract as many people as possible. This is why companies are increasing the number of advertisings in many places (TV, media, websites). However, individuals need to tolerate advertisements even if those are repetitive or unoriginal. In other words, when a company becomes successful due to advertising, others copy it and release with the same content. Moreover, companies make many posters in areas where majority people walk, leading a higher level of paper consumption. Which in turn harms the environment by decreasing the quantity of trees.
To mitigate these issues, I urge the government to implement some rules. These can be involving the advertising companies to increase the cost of its service, meaning that competitive companies will not tend to use advertisements. The next suggestion is about setting restrictions regarding poster production. For example, any company can utilize only a certain amount of advertising posters, which helps to maintain the usage of trees as paper. In opposite case, cheaters that manufactured more paper than needed, should pay refunds in a huge amount.
In conclusion, I believe that an increasing number of advertisings on TV or paper-based neglect societies feeling, thus, I hope that making the advertisements more expensive and integrating specific rules can solve these issues.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of language with a variety of sentence structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved for clarity and precision. For example, “This is why companies are increasing the number of advertisings in many places (TV, media, websites)” could be rephrased as “This is why companies are increasing the number of advertisements in various locations such as TV, media, and websites.” Ensuring subject-verb agreement and using more precise vocabulary will enhance the overall quality of the writing.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, “This is why companies are increasing the number of advertisings in many places (TV, media, websites)” should be “This is why companies are increasing the number of advertisements in many places, such as on TV, in the media, and on websites.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the impact of excessive advertising on society and suggesting measures to address this issue. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be further developed to provide more specific and detailed examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.