Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites.

In today’s world, a lot of people believe that there is too mush harmful content on the internet and governments in the whole world try to censor the certain information there. In my opinion, I believe, that the censoring of content on the internet is not the administration’s task. Government should control the level of life, foreign and domestic policy, and so on.
On the one hand, some people say that there is a lot of wrong and incorrect information on the global network, especially for kids. Therefore, some parents want to secure their kids from the dangerous internet. No more, except the government, may not to censor the particular content.
On the other hand, a lot of people believe that the administration should to solve more valuable problems than the censorship of content on websites. Society are confident that the protection and safekeeping of childhood and researching the incorrect information on the internet is not the task of the government. In my opinion, parents have to observe from their children. In addition, the government has more important aims, including foreign and domestic policy.
All things considered, the issue of harmful and controversial information on the global network and the censorship become more and more popular, especially in the contemporary digital world. Some individuals say that the administration should control what information is available on the internet, however others are confident that government should to solve more important problems. In my opinion, I believe, that the censoring of content on the internet is not the main task of administration, it has more valuable aims, such as correct policy.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas is not always clear. More explicit signposting language could help to improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent and appropriate.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be clarified. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more engaging to the reader.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but these do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the text. However, there are several grammatical errors that can hinder the reader’s understanding. For example, there are errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading for these errors and focusing on accuracy in addition to variety could help to improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the role of governments in censoring internet content. The writer presents a clear position, arguing that it is not the government’s responsibility to censor internet content, but rather to focus on other pressing issues. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points, although the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the opposing viewpoint. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.