Some people say the fashion industry is bad for the environment, as it encourages consumers to buy new clothes all the time. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that clothing industry may impact on environment negatively because this is often caused by high amount purchase of new clothes. While it can provide economical growth, I strongly believe that the fashion industry might bring significant disadvantages for environment through excessive waste and unsustainable production practices.
On the one hand, fashionable clothes industry can open doors for many employment opportunities. In other words, many large brands frequently tend to release new products to consumers which requires wide range of labours such as marketing professionals,managers or models. This tendency not only foster the development of industry but also can lead to increase of employees’ salary. For example,Nike company, which is in clothing sector, has created job positions for prospective employees. Therefore, fashion industry plays a significant role in improvement of economical growth and offers numerous jobs for millions across worldwide.
On the other hand, manufacturing of brand fashions often gives rise to environmental issues.To clarify, in clothing industry, there is a competition between different brands to get new customers . These clothes are often produced with cheap and synthetic materials, leading consumers to attract more consumers, companies produce clothes using cheap and synthetic materials so that they can sell it for cheaper price. This in term can lead buyers to abandon product due to its quality.If this cycle is continues relentlessly, it may have negative impact on environment.
Additionally, companies often manufacture their products in developing countries.This is mainly because of cheap labour cost they provide. These companies achieve affordable product prices through limiting employees’ privileges, compromising their good work condition. This in the long run can effect both company and workers
In conclusion, although there are some benefits of fashion industry, I hold an idea that overproduction and overconsumption may cause environmental concerns.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “fashionable clothes industry” could be rephrased as “the fashion industry,” and “prospective employees” could be rephrased as “prospective employees.” Improving the precision and appropriateness of vocabulary will enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. For example, “fashionable clothes industry” should be “the fashion industry,” and “this in term can lead buyers” should be “this in turn can lead buyers.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will improve readability.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the fashion industry. The writer presents a clear thesis statement and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the topic, including a more thorough discussion of the environmental impact of the fashion industry. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and restating the position more emphatically.