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Some people say the fashion industry is bad for the environment, as it encourages consumers to buy new clothes all the time. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people who say that clothing industry may impact on environment negatively because this is often caused by high amount purchase of new clothes. While it can provide economical growth, I strongly believe that the fashion industry might bring significant disadvantages for environment through excessive waste and unsustainable production practices.
On the one hand, fashionable clothes industry can open doors for many working opportunities. In other words, many large brands frequently tend to release new products to consumers which requires wide range of labours such as marketing professionals,managers or model stuffs. This tendency not only foster the development of industry but also it can lead to employments’ finiancial rate. For Example, Nike company, has created more than 100 000 employees worldwide statisticly. Therefore, fashion industry plays a significant role in driving economy growth and offers numerous jobs for millions across worldwide.
On the other hand, manufacturing of brand fashions often give rises to environmental issues.To clarify, in clothing industry, there are the race of selling products to buyers with frequency through brands. These clothes often produced by cheap and synthetic materials, leading consumers abandon them to trashes. This means that if this cycle continues relentlessly, whole world will be full of trashes. Moreover, this kind of clothing products consumes high amount of water and energy. For instance, in order to making a cotton T-shirt, it needs to 2700-litres water. Additionally, companies often manufacture their products in developing countries due to less price labours. While transportation process it may be caused to considerable use of gas emissions.
In conclusion, although there are some benefits of fashion industry, I hold an idea that overuse of production and consumption may lead to massive waste of natural resources.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
  • Make sure to fully develop your points in each paragraph.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging and the conclusion could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Consider revising the introduction to make it more engaging.
  • Consider adding a few more sentences to the conclusion to make it more comprehensive.