Some people think celebrities earn too much money Do you agree or disagree?
It is said that famous people make a lot of money. I will totally agree with the given statement and I will provide my own stance on the topic.
There are two main reasons why I support the given statement. Firstly, they advertise big companies. To clarify, they receive big honorarium for each post and stories on the social media. For example, Cristiano Ronaldo earns 90 million dollars a year by advertisements. He advertises big brand names such as Adidas and Éclair.
Secondly, they sell their own products. To explain, well-known people produce different items with their names on it, which can attract massive numbers of their fans. For instance, Mr. Beast, whose followers on YouTube platform exceed 300 million, sell the chocolate of his own with his name on it. The sales were very successful due to his popularity among YouTube users.
However, some people are not wealthy despite being world-renowned. Being a celebrity does not necessarily mean to have too much money. A famous football player, Ronaldinho, can be a perfect case in point. Although he was a brilliant player, he left with big amount of debts after finishing his career. He is working as a trainer in a small Brazilian football academy.
Furthermore, some people are notorious. That is to say, they are famous for having done bad deeds. Nevertheless, most of them ended up in prisons without any money or wealth. As an Example, Pablo Escobar, the biggest drug
trafficker, was arrested in Columbia and the government confiscated all of his properties.
In conclusion, I highly support the idea that the well-known make large sums thanks to advertisements as well as their own business. Notwithstanding, being famous does not always mean that a person is opulent.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the position, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, especially with terms related to advertising and business. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the argument.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could enhance the argument.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why some people believe that celebrities earn too much money. The writer presents a clear stance and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed exploration of the topic, including a discussion of the potential drawbacks of high earnings for celebrities.
Suggestions
- Provide a more balanced discussion of the topic, including potential drawbacks of high earnings for celebrities.
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with relevant examples.