Some people think celebrities to earn much money do you agree or disagree

It is argued that some famous person will earn a lot of money these days, and I agree in this essay. On the other hand, I will explain this essay.
Some people believe that popular person finds a lot of money every day, and I am going to say in this essay that famous person will find working earn money, and if famous person earn a lot of money, there will be a difficult situation, and famous person will not be provided in life, and they will find challenge away money. On the other hand, some famous person always attract their own opponent. Additionally, they find a lot of new ideas, and these ideas about things give a lot of things, also movement, and their competitors are opponents. For example, in America, one of its city of person, her name is Selena Gomez. She is a very beautiful girl, and especially she is a very popular person who was a model person.
Secondly, celebrate does not easy, because they may do not consume a meal, and celebrities often have to spend significant amount of against managers, publicans, and main training public. Imagine, this expense can be substantial, reducing their next earning.
To sum up, famous person have a lot of problems, such as money, time, and health, because they are not in their own life, and they are busy daily routine.

4.0

The essay is somewhat organized, but the ideas are not clearly connected. There is some repetition and the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate.

Suggestions

Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to make your ideas more connected.
Avoid unnecessary repetition of words and phrases.

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are some inaccuracies in word choice. There is some repetition of words and phrases.

The essay uses a limited range of grammatical structures and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.