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Some people think globalization benefits while some people believe harm local culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over the role of globalization among people, with some saying that it offers a number of benefits while others argue that it negatively affects local cultures. While globalization offers several upsides, I believe its negative impact on local cultures are far greater.
On the one hand, there are some benefits of globalization. One of them is that scientific and technological advancements can reach every corner of the world. In many parts of the world, people are suffering from serious diseases that can be curable if collaboration between developed and less developed countries has been set. This partnership can save millions of lives in under-developed nations, particularly African ones, where it is even impossible to find basic amenities for patients. Additionally, most people from under-developed countries have no access to the internet that can be used in a number of useful ways such as education. This situation can be improved by global efforts thanks to globalization.
On the other hand, despite the advantages of globalization, its negative consequences should also be considered. One possible downside is the loss of cultural diversity. If the world becomes interconnected, the first thing that is affected is the culture of minor nations. The people living in those countries may turn away their customs, traditions and normal way of life because of being attracted by the culture of developed nations. As a result, many communities may fail to preserve their cultural identity that might date back to thousands of years ago. This could make the world a more homogenous place, where people can get bored easily.
In conclusion, although globalization may bring some benefits to less developed countries in terms of science and technology, it adversely affects local cultures, leading to loss of cultural diversity and making the world a dull place to live in.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions, but these do not impede communication.

The essay addresses the task fully and presents a clear position throughout the response. Both sides of the argument are discussed, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. However, the argument could be developed further with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the implications.

Suggestions
  • Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Develop your arguments more fully to provide a deeper analysis of the implications of globalization.