Some people think technology development decreases crime , while others believe it actually encourages crime . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A few individuals contemplate that technology development reduces the level of crime , while others think that it promotes crime. I will discuss both points of views , and give my opinion that the development of technologies increases the number of crimes .
From one respect, the development of technologies decreases crime. In today’s fast-paced life , technologies become more popular among individuals , as almost everybody have at least one In their household . So , approximately everybody know how to utilize it’s functions . For instance , if there is someone tries to attack them online , they definitely know how to protect themselves ,hence, that people who tried to attack your personality will fail to do it. So, it causes the reduction in the number of crimes .
On the other hand , with the development of technologies ,there is great opportunity has been created to commit crimes for criminals , especially in favor of hackers . As technologies became popular among people , it makes easier for offenders to perpetrate a crime . For example , while the most people do not know totally about software programs , hackers has a great knowledge related to it , which makes it easy to break into their phones. So , they would have an access about users personal information or can steal something from their phones , such as their money through their credit card. As a result , criminal has been done very easily .
To sum up , I believe that the development of technologies increases the quantity of crimes rather than reducing it .
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage, as well as in sentence structure, which can cause some difficulty for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and sentence structure that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, discussing both views on the issue and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.