Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In numerous countries , using mobile phones to make payments is becoming more widespread . Although , paying for using mobile phones may offer some drawback , I think is a change for the benefits.
On the one hand,Paying with mobile phones can be beneficial to some extent. Firstly, relying heavly on mobile phone payments increases the risk of cibercrime . with the rise of digital transactions hackers and scammers have more opportunities to steal financial informations. Even the most secure payment platforms are not entirely immune to breaches,leaving users vulnerable to significant losses.
On the other hand ,on the other hand, people get cashback and bonuses if they use their mobile phone for payment. secondly, they can easily use their money while traveling abroad. In addition, they can pay by QR code on the phone. This provides many opportunities.
To conclude , paying for using mobile phone may appear to be disadvantageous because of secure payment platforms are note entirely immune to breaches and steal to financial informations. Neverthless , I think is a change for the benefits .
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but they do not impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures and there are some grammatical errors. Overall, the errors do not impede communication, but the essay could benefit from a more thorough review to correct the more noticeable errors and enhance the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the development of the argument could be more balanced and the conclusion could be more effective. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more balanced, with a more thorough exploration of the potential drawbacks of mobile phone payments. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is presented in a balanced way, providing equal attention to the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phone payments.
- Make the conclusion more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating your opinion.