Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate over how modern technology can affect the crime rate. While technology development can reduce the amount of the crime by providing the safety for people and raising awareness through mass media, I agree with those who believe that developing technology might encourage offenders to commit crime.
There are two main reasons why developing modern technologies can deter to commit crime. Firstly, they can offer a safe atmosphere in crowded places such as market, public transport and streets. To explain this, governments can install digital cameras in these places, which can deter offenders from committing crime. Consequently, this can reduce the amount of crime considerably. Secondly, the development of technology can growth the rate of people’s law literacy. In other words, it is quite efficient to raise awareness about new laws via mass media. As a result, people who are well-informed about new introduced laws try to do not break them which can lead to minimize the number of crimes.
However, I would argue that developing technology can encourage criminals to perpetrate a crime. First and foremost, modern technologies can give a chance to commit a cybercrime. To clarify this, nowadays, online fraud is spreading among the cybercriminals widely. Therefore, every day, they steal the money of thousands of people who lack information about online fraud. Furthermore, there are many websites that display violence and immorality which can influence people’s behavior. As a consequence, they accept this as a normal condition and it can be cause increase crime rate.
In conclusion, although technology development has benefits for decreasing crime, I strongly believe that it can also stimulate offenders to commit cybercrime and to spread violence and immorality worldwide.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s opinion, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The body paragraphs each discuss a single reason for the dual effects of technology on crime, but the explanations could be more concise and focused. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the arguments made in the essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. The writer uses a variety of expressions to discuss the topic, but some phrases could be more precise. For example, “it is quite efficient to raise awareness about new laws via mass media” could be rephrased as “it is an effective way to raise awareness about new laws through mass media.” The essay uses a range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic expressions. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors that could be corrected for clarity. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation, with few errors. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors that could be corrected for clarity. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation, with few errors. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the positive and negative effects of technology on crime. The writer presents a clear opinion that technology development can both reduce and encourage crime, and provides reasons and examples to support this view. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay clearly addresses the topic by discussing both the positive and negative effects of technology on crime. The writer presents a clear opinion that technology development can both reduce and encourage crime, and provides reasons and examples to support this view. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide detailed explanations and examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.