Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over how can affect modern technology on crime rate. While technology development can reduce the amount of the crime by providing the safety of people and being aware them through mass media, I agree with those who believe that developing technology might encourage offenders to commit crime.
There are two main reasons why developing modern technologies can discourage to commit crime. Firstly, they can offer safe atmosphere in crowded places such as market, public transport and streets. To explain this, governments can install digital cameras in these places which can result in avoiding offenders to commit crime. Consequently, this can reduce the amount of crime considerably. Secondly, the development of technology can growth the rate of people’s law literacy. In other words, it is quite efficient to be aware people about new laws via mass media. As a result, people who are ample informed about new introduced laws try to do not break them which can lead to minimize the number of crimes.
However, I would argue that developing technology can encourage criminals to perpetrate a crime. First and foremost, modern technologies can give a chance to commit a cybercrime. To clarify this, nowadays, online fraud is spreading among the cybercriminals widely. Therefore, every day, they steal the money of thousands of people who lack information about online fraud. Furthermore, gadgets really affect people’s behavior. To give more details, nowadays, there are lots of websites that shows violence and immorality which can influence people’s character. As a consequence, they accept this as a normal condition and it can cause increase crime rate.
In conclusion, although technology development has benefits for decreasing crime, I strongly believe that it can stimulate offenders to commit cybercrime and to spread violence and immorality worldwide.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are only minor errors. However, there are some sentences that could be rephrased for better clarity. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures, but there are some errors in sentence structure and tense consistency. Additionally, there are a few instances of incorrect punctuation, which can affect the overall clarity of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of technology on crime, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support the points made.