Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There’s a debate over how developing technology has an impact on the crime. While some argue that, modern technologies can cause offense to increase, I side with those who believe that the growing crimes can be prevented by new technological gadgets.
Those who support useful technologies promote the idea that it can be easier to detect many crimes using sophisticated and digital technologies. First and foremost, many officers are identifying theft, homicide, violence and other types of crimes fast enough with the help of special gadgets. For instance, surveillance cameras and radars are nowadays almost everywhere in order to find out accidents, murder or those who increased speed of the vehicles and other crimes. Moreover many wealthy people and many buildings that include high amount of money or valuable things like banks or museums has safety alarms to prevent robbery and larceny.
However, I would argue that there are also disadvantages of the technologies too. Firstly, as the the digital technology is progressing, it is being more accessible for cyber crime. Namely, the number of criminals who are gaining unauthorized access to data by computers or network is increasing significantly in our modern life. Many people are suffering from hackers who are burping their identity or looting money from their bank accounts. Furthermore, these days offenders created new way to comunicate with each other by coded communication avoiding detection.
In conclusion, while improving technology can cause growing cyber crimes and hackers, i think that, using the technology itself professionally against the crime life could help people to prevent more and more offenses in variety of types.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the arguments.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that can hinder understanding. These include issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more varied sentence structure to better demonstrate grammatical range.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views on the impact of technological development on crime, as well as providing the writer’s opinion. However, the arguments could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Ensure that both sides of the argument are equally developed and supported with specific examples.
- Provide a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion.