Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate over how advanced technology affects to the crime rate.While some argue that technology is considered to reduce the number of crimes due to modern advancement,Iside with those who belive that it is created more opportunity for lawbreakers such as cybercrime.
Those who feel that the technology development is a great way to reduce crime statistics point out the main two reasons for this.The first thing that providing several modern gadgets in order to catch criminals. For instance, a video camera can be great option.While this kind of devices are being put into every corner of cities,people may be afraid of breaking laws such as increasing the speed of vehicles.In addition,nowadays all of police officers equipped with boy cameras are held accountable for their actions,reducing misconduct and improving justice.
However, I would argue that enhancement technology is creating a considerable chance for committing crimes particularly in term of cyber terrorism.Criminals are engaging in cybercrime,hacking and even fake identifications.Thes days cybercriminals can create fake links for social media accounts or messengers.When the victim opens them,they can get information about their bank cards.As soon as they get passwords,offenders can use victims money.
In conclusion, although the modern technology such as a video and body camera decrease crime ,I think that it is making a substantial chance for committing cybercrime and phishing.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and to clearly connect them to your main argument.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free of errors. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views on the issue and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion.