Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People have different views over whether technology development decreases or increases the crime. While some argue that technology development reduces the crime, I side with those who believe that, it leads to creating new types of crimes.
Those who support technology improvement cite several reasons for this. Firstly, sophisticated security systems, which is in high level nowadays, provide with all kinds of safety such as biometric identification, CCTV cameras and real-time surveillance. For instance, existence of security cameras, especially in cities and towns, can protect from theft, violence, murder, increasing speed of the vehicles and other crimes. Another important consideration is special technological instruments for bank system. It can protect personal date and financial transactions from being stolen. In our modern life, banking system take place main role, so it should have strong security facilities.
However, I would argue that technology development gives opportunity to commit crimes namely, qualities and functions of computers and different apps increase making fake identification, hacking and cyber terrorism. For example cyber criminals make fake links for social media accounts or messengers for victims to open them in order to get victim’s bank status and cards information. Furthermore, the anonymity of the internet, which is spread widely today, gives a chance committing crime feeling safely that they do not do in real life. Such kind of situations, hackers retain their anonymity by using handles, anonymous servers, e-mail, changing their IP address so that transmissions yo come from another source. In a result, they access to someone’s computer or account and steal personal information.
In conclusion, while some people think that technology development reduces the crime which reasoned with sophisticated security systems and special technological instruments for bank system, I think that, as far as technology developers committing crime would increase in various sophisticated forms.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting for the reader. The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples used to support the various points being made.