Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate over whether advanced technology helps people decrease the number of criminal actions or it leads to more crimes. While technological advancements offer several benefits in controlling the crime rate in society, I believe that they also create more opportunities for criminals.
On the one hand, the use of new technologies such as smart house locks, surveillance cameras, and automatic alarm systems can significantly reduce the occurrence of crime. This is because the presence of such modern safety technologies acts as a deterrent for potential criminals. Knowing they are under the surveillance of cameras and that a misstep can trigger
the alarm system, which is usually connected to the nearest police station, criminals may be deterred from entering the premises. Nowadays, such modern technology can be found in every important social building like banks or government settings, which are the most common target of criminals.
On the other hand, unintended assistance of advanced technology to criminals should also be considered. Modern gadgets such as smartphones and laptops accompanied by the internet provide a greater chance to commit a crime. Currently, most people store their important documents on their phones or computers, which can be easy targets for tech-savvy criminals. Additionally, individuals store their money in bank accounts or on credit cards, which can be a target for cybercrime.
In conclusion, although technological advancements provide a greater sense of
safety through alarm systems and surveillance cameras, they can also be dangerous in the hands of criminals, as they can be used to steal important files or monetary wealth
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your ideas are fully developed and explained.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. However, the conclusion could be more fully developed.
Suggestions
- Try to provide a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the main points and clearly restates your position.