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Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over whether advanced technology helps people decrease the number of criminal actions or it leads to more crimes. While the advancement in technology offers several benefits to control the rate of crimes in society, technological development, in my view, creates more opportunities for crimanals.
On the one hand, new technologies such as smart house locks, surveillance cameras and automatic alarm systems may significantly decrease the occurance of crime. This works very simply as the existence of such modern safety technologies is of great help to prevent criminals. Knowing they are under the control of suveillance cameras and just a wrong move may start the alarming system, which is, in most cases, connected to the nearest police station, criminals may be unwilling to enter the building. Nowadays, such modern technology can be found in every inportant social buildings like banks or government settings, which are the most common target of criminals.
On the other hand, unintended assistance of advanced technology to criminals should also be considered. Modern gadgets such as smartphones and laptops accompanied by the internet provide a greater chance to commit a crime. At present, most people save their essential documents in their phones or computers that may be an easy target for criminals who are professionally able to use modern technology. Additionally, individuals tend to save their money in their bank accounts or credit cars, which can be dangerous and be a target for a cyber crime.
In conclusion, although technological development brings a higher sense of safety thanks to alarm systems and control cameras, modern technologies could be a dangerous weapon in the hand criminals to steal important files or monetary wealth.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for better clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the introduction could be more effective in clearly stating the writer’s position.

Suggestions
  • Consider revising the introduction to more clearly state your position.