Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

According to some individuals, there is an upward trend of crime because of technological development, while others believe it can reduce crime. Development of technology can encourage some kind of crime types but I think, it can help us to prevent social welfare.
Nowadays there are a lot of burglaries or some kind of crimes because of digital technology. First and foremost, because of criminalists can hide their identity within anonymity. They can use this for online activities and use tools and techniques to remain untraceable making it harder for authorities to detect or apprehend them. For example, there is a phrase that everyone can know about it – The Dark Web. A lot of criminals do their illegal activities via this. They can steal money from credit card or from social media. Secondly, today’s global problem Cybercrime is one of the part of these crimes, as well. Everyone know about it but they also lost their important information owing to this. In 2020, for instance, Solar Winds company which is located in US, was attacked, also. IT was worlds the best cyberattack this time and the most popular one. Somehow improvements of technology can be dangerous for well-beings; welfare.
Police is one of the section that can find crimes and solve it because of digital improvements. In my opinion, a lot of crimes can be solved via these developments. Cybersecurity is the most useful part of technology, for instance. It can help protection of computer system networks and data from cyber threats like hacking viruses and unauthorized access. It ensures systems are safe data remains private and operations run smoothly. Individuals can keep their house safe within this operation. The doorbell cameras like Ring allow home where to monitor and prevent burglaries. Moreover, another example of crime reduction is Data analyze predictive policing helps prevent crimes. For example, Identifying Crime Hotspots geographic information system (GIS) can find crimes that done via transports. They can focus interventions and crime areas.
To conclude, some think cyberattacks and other burglaries are the result of such kind of developments. I think, improvements of digital technology can reduce crimes and it is very important part of police.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the conclusion could use more formal language to better fit the academic context.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and the overall grammatical accuracy is good. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity. Additionally, the conclusion could be more formally presented to better fit the academic context.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the examples provided could be more specific and relevant. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.