Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over the role of technology in crime prevention, with some saying that it has the potential to reduce the rate of crime while others arguing that the reverse is likely to happen. While technology might serve as an assistance for criminals to commit crimes via advanced hacking tools and AI manipulation, I believe that technological development, such as the implementation of drones or surveillance technology is mostly helpful to reduce crime rate.
Admittedly, technological advancement can encourage offensive behavior among individuals, in particular cyber crime might be a mainstream practice with the help of advanced hacking tools. If these tools are readily available, hackers even amateur ones might launch attacks individuals or organizations, stealing their private information or money form their bank accounts. This means that financial security can be at risk, inducing fear and insecurity in society. People may be discouraged form using digital transactions or payment methods, which eventually lead to economic and financial degradation.
AI manipulation can be another problem which contribute to further criminal activities. In other words, AI technology can enable offenders to create fake videos, voice recording and pictures, which can ultimately be deployed for misinformation, fraud or blackmail. People’s private life might suffer from these criminal activities, with their overall quality of life degraded over time. Once people are mimicked from different aspects via AI technology, they are highly likely to lose their own life since they would be manipulated or controlled by criminals and act according to offenders’ demands or expectations.
These arguments notwithstanding, I am of the opinion that technological improvements such as drones and surveillance equipment are chiefly synonymous with the crime prevention. In terms of the drones, by equipping them with cameras, large areas can be patrolled, offering aerial monitoring in hard-to-reach or high-crime zones. When would-be criminals are well aware of their actions being watched or under control, they can be discouraged form committing a crime, reducing or even eradicating the incidents of theft and violence in society. This results in individuals’ satisfaction of the provision of decent safety measures, contributing to the betterment of their overall quality of life.
As far as surveillance technology is concerned, their role can be more pronounced in public places. Advanced CCTV cameras with AI-based facial recognition and motion detection are capable of monitoring public spaces for suspicious activity. Potential offensive behavior or criminal activities could easily be detected with the assistance of this technology, facilitating the job of justice system. In contrast, prospective offenders would feel comfortable and encouraged to resort to their immoral actions unless steps regarding implementing advanced technology for crime intervention were effectively and immediately taken.
In conclusion, granted, technological innovations including hacking tools and artificial intelligence may increase the crime rate in society, yet I side with those who argue that these developments actually have the potential to decrease the cases of delinquent activities of individuals by utilizing drones or surveillance technology.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and the body paragraphs are well-structured. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that discuss each viewpoint, and a conclusion that restates your position. You use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., “Admittedly,” “In other words,” “As far as”). To improve cohesion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the ideas within paragraphs are logically ordered and connected. For example, the paragraph discussing the dangers of technology to crime prevention could be more cohesive by linking more directly to the following paragraph that supports the idea that technology can reduce crime.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. You demonstrate a good command of a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “surveillance technology,” “crime prevention,” and “AI manipulation.” Your use of terminology is appropriate and contributes to a clear and formal style. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider using a wider variety of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly. For example, instead of repeating “technology,” you could use synonyms like “digital tools” or “technological advancements.”

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. Your essay displays a good command of complex sentence structures, making effective use of a variety of sentence types. You effectively communicate your ideas using a mix of simple and complex sentences, which helps to maintain reader interest. Your grammar and punctuation are generally well-handled, contributing to a clear and professional presentation. To further demonstrate your grammatical range and accuracy, continue to experiment with complex sentence structures and ensure the consistent use of appropriate grammatical forms. For example, in the sentence “AI manipulation can be another problem which contribute to further criminal activities,” the verb “contribute” should agree with the singular noun “problem.”

The essay addresses the task effectively. You have addressed the task by discussing both views on the role of technology in crime prevention and providing your own opinion. You have clearly stated your position and supported it with relevant arguments. Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effective. However, to further enhance your task response, consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could provide real-world examples of how surveillance technology has helped prevent crime or how AI has been misused for criminal purposes.