Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There is a debate over, which technology increases can effect to decrease crimes, while others think that, actually this development can encourage to crime. Although, there ara arguments justifying the extravagance. I believe absolutely that, development of technology can help to decrease crime.
Some people think that, technology development can open opportunities because at present, world is modernizing at the same time hacking too. Such as, Nowadays, a lot of hackers are lying people and they are hacking money from their cards and also personal accounts. The worst thing is that, they are also stealing money from banks. They are main reasons for thinking like technology development can open doors for lawbreakers.
Others think that, however, development of technology can help to police officers who are supporting my idea. Because, even if hackers develop, cyber security officers can also develop. Not only that, I think developing technologies can sit to police officers’ place and I think they are faster and effective than humanity. Such as, they are stronger and they can work 24 hours for every day. That’s meaning that, this can provide safety.
In conclusion, some people think modernizing world can give opportunities for stealers, such as, for hackers, however, others believe that, technologies can help to police officers to find criminals and I think so to the last idea.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. These errors can sometimes make the writing difficult to understand and may affect the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well supported by the rest of the essay.