Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, crime is significantly increasing all over the world such as stealing things and even cars. Many people believe that using development technologies is useful for declining that, while others say that it actually encourages crime. In this essay I will discuss both views of this topic.
On the one hand, sometimes technologies cause some online crimes. Cybercrime, for instance, has become a major issue in the world, with hackers stealing some personal information or pictures of some people. As a consequence, hackers require a lot of money do not sharing their information or pictures. Moreover, advancements in technology have led to sophisticated methods of committing crimes. For example, they used for crimes drones for monitoring potential targets. The facilities illegal trade in drugs, weapons, and human trafficking, posing a significant challenge to law enforcement.
On the other hand, some people believe technology play a vital role in reducing crimes. If somewhere happened crime, it has to be invastigated. In recent years, CCTV cameras are becoming more popular and we can see them in everywhere. In fact, venues with CCTV are less likely to be of interest to criminals who are aware of how effective cameras can be. Thus, having CCTV cameras helps to ensure less criminals in society including those of high importance such as schools, hospitals and parks. Furthermore, using forensic methods are applied appropriately is also helps to reduce crime. For instance, if someone burglar on someone’s house maybe there can be find some fingerprints and police can identify thieves by obtaining results form Blood or DNA tests. The efficiency of such tests only improves every year due to technological progress.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that, using these technologies helps to prevent crimes and decreased it. Forensic studies using technology and CCTV cameras is just two examples of minimizing the number of crimes happened in our world.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. You use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” “In conclusion”). To improve cohesion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that related ideas are clearly connected. Additionally, consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your writing.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. You demonstrate a good command of vocabulary, with a range of terms related to the topic, such as “cybercrime,” “CCTV cameras,” and “forensic methods.” Your use of terminology is generally appropriate and contributes to a clear and formal style. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied and precise vocabulary to discuss the nuances of the topic and avoid repetition.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are some errors and awkward constructions. The essay showcases a variety of grammatical structures with a high level of accuracy. There are minor errors that do not significantly impact the readability or the overall quality of the writing. To further improve, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure the correct use of articles and prepositions. Additionally, consider varying your sentence structures to add more complexity and nuance to your writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. You have addressed the task by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. You present a clear introduction, discuss each viewpoint in detail, and conclude by supporting your own stance. Your opinion is well-integrated into the essay, and you provide relevant examples to support your arguments. To further enhance your task response, consider providing a more detailed exploration of the counterarguments and potential drawbacks of using technology in crime prevention.