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Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is true that technological advances have various significant impacts on crime. While I accept that technological advancement can cause criminals to commit a crime, I believe that it can be helpful to reduce crime in some ways.
On the one hand, the development of technology can be good for criminals for some reasons. The first reason is that it will become easier for criminals to commit a crime by using social media. Nowadays plenty of people are sharing personal information on social media and other online platforms, and as a result of that criminals can easily use this data for a variety of purposes, be it good or bad. In addition, hackers are taking advantage of technological advances. They can gain access to someone’s computer for malicious intentions. For example, they can make money by hijacking bank systems. Therefore, advances in technology might allow them to commit more crimes.
On the other hand, I believe that technological development helps to reduce crime in various ways. Firstly, police officers have already begun to use cameras to discover who has committed a crime. For instance, CCTV cameras could reveal a crime or murder. In this way, there will be less crime and police officers can gain more profit. Secondly, many crimes can be uncovered with the help of AI. AI can solve problems related to crime by analysing videos, and images. By the use of Artificial Intelligence, we would gain access to live in a crimeless nation.
In conclusion, while I accept that improvements in technology can be useful for criminals in some ways, I believe it also helps to reduce crime in society.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the introduction could be more effective in introducing the topic and the conclusion could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Consider revising the introduction to more effectively introduce the topic and provide some background context.
  • Consider adding a few more sentences to the conclusion to make it more comprehensive.