Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe thatit actuallyencourages crime
Some people think that technology development decreases crime, others believe it really motivates crime.
Nowadays, technology is more important role our lives. Some people is reduced the crime but others think that increase crime. Both ideas have reasons.
On the one hand, technology very useful for reduce the crime. For example, security cameras recorded everything and that helps for police to catch the criminals. Mobile phones are beneficial because people had dangerous accident, they can call for help. Technology helps to save the information about criminals, so after that easy to find them.
On the other hand, technology can also increase crime. For example, phreaker use computers, they can steal money from banks or people. They stolen credit cards also personal information and they might worked illegal. Another one problem social medias because some criminals use it for to plan bad things.
In my opinion, technology is harmful, but it had more profit. It has some problems but it can safe and easy to our live. We only use technology directly. We must to control it.
In conclusion, technology has both good and bad site. It might be reduce the crime but it creates new problems. How we use technology will decide if it helps or harms.
Eshmuminova Gulsevar
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward, affecting readability. Additionally, the transition between the two main bodies could be smoother to better guide the reader through the essay.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing. Also, make sure to use linking words to connect your ideas more clearly.
- Use transitional phrases like “Firstly,” and “Additionally,” to link paragraphs and improve the flow of the essay. “On the other hand,” is a bit repetitive; consider varying it with “Conversely,” or “Meanwhile.”
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at using more complex language. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be improved to avoid repetition and enhance the lexical resource.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a wider range of grammatical structures to demonstrate a higher level of proficiency.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the potential of technology to reduce and increase crime. However, the discussion is somewhat superficial, with only basic explanations and examples. The essay also presents a clear position in the conclusion, but the argument could be more fully developed with a more detailed analysis of the implications of technology on crime.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully and provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help to provide a more thorough and convincing response to the task.
- Incorporate specific examples of how technology has both reduced and increased crime, such as the use of surveillance cameras and cybersecurity measures, and the role of technology in facilitating criminal activities.