Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe thatit actuallyencourages crime
Some people think technology development decreases crime. Of cource, if technology development, crime getting decreases. Technology development very nice. Because of, find different job for unamployment. Further more, if people have got job, they never do crime. All time they have money. Technology development this, everything getting better, everywhere getting safety. Development technology in period, crime find very easy. Because anywhere have camera.
For me it is obvious that, technology development in period while other people believe it actually encourage crime. There could be a case for saying that, development technology encourage crime. Development period, all conditions have for crime. Because of, they will be hakker. It is obvious that everything has two sides, that is, advantages and disadvantages. Similarly, it is possible to say that, technology development includes both negative and positive effects, but, development technology very nice. If technology decreases, our life, and our country will be development. In addition to, creat all conditions for young generation. After we, young generation’s life will being wonderful. It has long been my belief that, technology development win crime.
Boynazarova Jano
na
The essay is somewhat organized, but the ideas are not clearly connected. There is a lack of logical flow and coherence between sentences and paragraphs. The use of basic cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or overly repetitive, which disrupts the natural flow of the essay. The essay lacks clear paragraphing, with ideas often presented in a disjointed manner. The introduction and conclusion are either too brief or unclear, failing to effectively summarize the main points or present a strong overall stance.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. The essay relies on a repetitive and very basic vocabulary, showing little variation or creativity in word choice. There are several instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing, which detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Spelling and typographical errors further hinder the reader’s understanding.
The essay uses a very limited range of grammatical structures and there are some errors in sentence construction and punctuation. The essay demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, with only rare use of more complex forms. There are numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and sentence structures, which affect the overall readability of the essay. Punctuation is often used incorrectly or missing, further detracting from the clarity of the presented ideas.
The essay does not clearly address the task and the position is somewhat unclear. The essay attempts to address the prompt by discussing both viewpoints; however, it does not clearly articulate a definitive stance or provide a consistent perspective throughout. The introduction and conclusion are either too brief or unclear, failing to effectively present the main argument or provide a strong, cohesive end to the essay. The essay provides some examples and points to support its arguments; however, these are often vague, repetitive, or not well-explained, which weakens the overall effectiveness of the response.
Suggestions
- Clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion.
- Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well supported by examples or explanations.