Some people think that an increase in the number of cars in cities is the biggest problem. Others argue there are other more serious problems.
Nowadays, it is thought that the rising number of cars in urban areas is the biggest problem while others believe that other problems are more serious.
On one side,it might be true that the increasing number of cars one of the biggest problem in cities; it can lead to pollution of the air and the enviroment, and nowadays the level of air pollution has been increased compared to the past.For example, the research shows that in many countries,such as India,Britian, and America, with a rising figure of vehicles, the rate of air pollution increased to 80%. From this, there could appear to be more troubles, such as health issues and unlimited traffic congestion.
On the other side, there are more urgent problems to adress in the world, such as a lack of job oppotunities.In the last year, with the development of AI,technological change, a decline in the labour force, the rate of job opportunities has decreased and this is leading to more unemployed people.For instance, in 2024, more than 2 million employees are expected to be looking for jobs,raising global uneployment. It can lead to increase in poverty among individuals and even crime.Thus,bigger challenges are facing many cities.
To sum up,despite the increasing figure of cars is one of the most significant dilemmas in the world , cities have more important and bigger issues, such as the growing unemployment rate.I suppose that there are more major concerns in the world
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the writer’s stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be increased.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some issues with verb tense, subject/verb agreement, and article usage. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. However, there are a few minor errors, such as issues with verb tense, subject/verb agreement, and article usage, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could be increased.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer presents relevant examples to support their points and ensures that each paragraph has a clear focus. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the writer’s stance.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly restates your position.