Some people think that art is an essential subject for school children while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There have been ongoing debates about wheather art plays vital role for school teenagers or it is non- beneficial. This essay will discuss both sides of having an art subject in schools, giving examples and some reasons why I find art subjects are ineffective.
Art fosters children with more courage and creativity. For example an experiment on university students suggested that playing a musical instrument and painting with colours increases creativity so researchers the world over encourage parents to teach their children to gain a knowledge of art like music and painting. Also they suggested that playing all formes of music instruments and listening to music produce various harmones associated with brain function and mood. Singing a happy song or playing an instrument for this music drive people to be happy while calm music push they to be miserable . As far as painting is concerned it also has a positive impact on teenage cognitive and creative skills development as they do these kind of workes like their hobby
Regarding the drawbacks of art subject. Children should more focus on core subjects like math, science ang language than art. Because these type of subjects are more valuable and critical for future career, job prospects and lucrative living. For instance in highly competitive job markets and companies require qualifications than artistic talents. Moreover art doesn’t lead to stable job in developing countries like Uzbekistan because fewer job opportunities exist for professional artists compared to teachers, doctors and engineers.
Another argument for my negative positive is not all schools in our country are not provided artistic instruments due to their high cost.
In conclusion, although art subject has significant benefit for child’s development it’s disadvantages also notable so governments should provide educational centers with art equipments and make more spaces for artists firstly then educate children to an artistic skills in school.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and restating the opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to restate the main points and your opinion in the conclusion to provide a clear summary.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be refined for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and sophisticated language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these do not detract from the overall clarity of the writing. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in punctuation and spelling, which can detract from the overall clarity. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and discussing both sides of the argument. The writer provides relevant examples to support their points, but the argument could be more fully developed with a more detailed exploration of the topic. Additionally, the conclusion could more effectively summarize the main points and restate the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Provide a more detailed exploration of the topic to enhance the depth and complexity of the writing.