Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals think that children should start school at a very young age, while others believe they should begin after the age of seven. Although both ideas have their good points, I think children should start school later, after they turn seven.
Starting school early has some advantages. For instance, children can learn basic skills like reading and writing sooner. They also learn how to work with other kids and listen to their teachers. This can help them get ready for the future.
Waiting until children are older to start school also has good points. They can spend more time at home with their family, where they can learn simple things like counting, reading. This can happen in a fun and relaxing way. Older children are usually more ready for school. In addition, starting school later gives children more time to play, which helps them grow stronger and become more creative.
In conclusion, it is good to start school early, but I believe it is better to wait until children are seven. At this age, they are more ready for school and can enjoy learning more.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, but the body paragraphs could be more detailed and well-developed. Transitions between ideas are present but could be more varied and sophisticated.
Suggestions
- Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well-developed.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are only minor errors. However, there is room for improvement in terms of sentence variety and complexity.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. Both sides of the argument are discussed, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Include specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.
- Ensure that each example is fully developed and clearly supports your argument.