Some people think that children should grow up in the countryside than a big city Do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals believe that little ones should grow up in countryside than in a large city. I completely agree with this statement because it is reduces relience on gadgets and enhances their critical thinking.
First of all, growing up in countryside is reducing the involvement to their gadgets. This is due to is limited wi-fi and weak internet connection. Also there are a lot of outdoor activities,house chores which is you can help to your siblings. As you know you can communicate with your family a lot it helps strengthen your relationship bonds. For instance some of the my aunt’s children are addicted to their phones but they visited our home last month they get one with all the people.
Another benefit is enhancing their critical thinking. Because of you have enough leisure time for doing your tasks. As you know countryside is picturesque. The nature helps to our mental health. And there are not any distractions. For example my niece came our village in summer holiday and she learnt a new language in a short time.
In conclusion, I agree that growing up in the countryside than in a large city because of the reducing involvement to their gadgets and the improving critical thinking.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance on the issue.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance on the issue.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be improved to avoid repetition and enhance the lexical resource.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures and there are some grammatical errors that can cause some difficulty for the reader. In addition to these errors, there are also some issues with punctuation and spelling that can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. The essay would benefit from a more thorough proofreading to identify and correct these errors.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The writer takes a clear stance, supporting the idea that children should grow up in the countryside rather than in a large city. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the body paragraphs. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.