Some people think that children should grow up in the countryside than a big city Do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that children should grow up in a difficult environment . I completely agree with this statement because children’s education is disturbed and they are unkund to each other
Firstly, modern technology is negatively affecting the education is disturb of many childrens. This is because they can get caught up in all kids of advanced games in the city, or they can be bad boys, their friends. As a result, of this the child may go into a bad way and become uneducated. There is a difference between children who grow up in a big city and children who grow up in a village. These days, for example when l go to the city, most of the city, most of the kids who grew up in the city do not say hello
Another drawback is the way growing up in the city makes children neglect each other . Children who grow up in conditions without difficulties and children who grow up in the village with great achievements, grow up to appreciate avery thing and endure poverty. As a result they become kind to each other.
An conclusion I agree that living in the city has caused more problems than it has solved with the children growing up unruly and unloving
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the organization of ideas is not clear, and there is some repetition. The use of linking words is limited, affecting the overall coherence. The essay is somewhat difficult to follow due to unclear relationships between ideas.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph contributes to your overall argument.
The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary and there are several inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. Some words are repeated, and there are instances of incorrect usage.
The essay shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and inaccuracies in verb tense and subject-verb agreement. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical issues.
The essay addresses the topic by discussing the impact of growing up in a difficult environment on children’s education and socialization. However, the argument is not well-developed, and the essay lacks specific examples to support the points made. The conclusion restates the main idea but does not effectively summarize the key points discussed.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.