Some people think that children should grow up in the countryside than a big city Do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals believe that the children should grow up in the village rather than a megacity. I completely agree this statement because children don’t spend a lot of time in the nature, and, also, the weather is not airy.
First of all, children spend their time in nature.Children who grow up in rural areas spend more time playing games with their friends in nature than children in urban areas, rather than on social media such as smartphones and computers. For example, some psychologists say that spending time in nature helps children broaden their horizon. Therefore, children in rural areas have a broader range of thinking.
Another benefit is the way that rural air is fresh air than urban air.There are more factories and vehicles in the city than in the countryside. These emit more harmful substances into the air. In the countryside, the air is cleaner because there are fewer factories and means of transport.That’s why some scientists say that many children who grow up in rural areas are physically stronger, and their immune systems are also much better.
In conclusion, I agree that the atmosphere in the village is cleaner than in the town, and children also spend more time in the countryside rather than in an enormous city.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few errors that could be corrected for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of children growing up in rural areas as opposed to urban areas. The writer presents a clear stance and supports it with relevant arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.