Some people think that children should grow up in the countryside than in a big city Do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals feel that occupying in the village is better for children rather than in a sizeable city. I completely agree with this statement because countryside is required not only fresh air but also peaceful places.
On the one hand , raising in the country is useful for children with fresh air . This is because an aspect of available air processing what happens to us If we don’t have fresh breath ,our body will encounter a number of negative experiences for instance heart disease KOAH and like these. Additionally countryside has numerous of things such as crops grown on homestands , trees and so on . At the current time according to the doctor’s when juxposing children in the rural area and in the city it was found that the immunity of children in the village is higher the reason is definetely the clean air and healthy nutrients .
On the other hand ,this condition has another benefit for genarations that being peaceful all time children this is because you can live in that place without plenty of cars.For this reason childern spend their time to play with their friend any time in their streets.Especially,soothing time is very practical for ankle-biter family.Take an example children of village have available mental health
In conclusin,I believe that childern thrive better in a rural area environment than in an urban area.This situation has resolved healh problems because of original atmosphere and restful points
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows an understanding of grammatical rules. However, there are some errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and preposition use that can be distracting. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of raising children in the countryside as opposed to in a city. The writer presents a clear stance and supports it with relevant arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by addressing potential counterarguments more thoroughly.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.