Some people think that children should grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals think that parents should bring up their children in the countryside rather than in a big city. I absolutely disagree with this statement.
First and foremost, living in a countryside makes us a myriad of opportunities like eco-friendly environment and more open space than city. But, living in a countryside is causing more and more educational obstacles for villagers, such as limited academic facilities.For example, If, rural tennagers want to take an extra classes to gain admission to higher education institutions, they usually suffer from a lack of study materials, empty classrooms and also experienced teachers.
Another downside of life of countryside is lack of access to facilities.There are a number of opportunities like cozy sport clubs,modern shopping centers and also severally entertainment options in the city than in rural areas. This creates it difficulties to live in the village.For example, last year 60 percent rural people forced to move to city center due to living difficulties in the countryside.
To sum up, I believe that the village life is much more painful for every single person especially for children because of the insufficient teaching equipments and shortages of favorable accomodations for people’s daily life.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be more consistent.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows an understanding of grammatical rules. However, there are a few errors in verb tense and subject-verb agreement that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of punctuation could be improved for better clarity and flow.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay clearly addresses the prompt by discussing the disadvantages of living in the countryside, such as educational obstacles and a lack of amenities. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support its points. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Make sure that the conclusion is effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.