Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is a debate over the best time for children to start school, with some saying they must attend school from early ages and others stating the opposite. While juveniles can have certain benefits starting school early, I argue that a bit older ages the optimum time to do it.
Some claim children can enjoy the benefit of early development if they begin their school from younger ages. After the age of 5-6, when the children have finished their kindergarten, they will be ready to receive education. This is because their brain is often ready to consume knowledge and children of these ages are usually more flexible to adapt new habits and surroundings. Therefore, if they attend school from those early ages, children can develop academically and physically earlier than others, which can l be an advantage later in life.
That said, I believe the start of school education must be at older ages. Firstly, there are essential periods of developments in children that must occur before the beginning of school years. While grown enough to learn, the mind of the youth is not usually fully ready to deal with school subjects and lessons that are covered in school curriculum. This might result in early stress, academic overload and undesirable feelings in young students toward education.
Another reason to support later start of school is the simple fact that children must enjoy their childhood while young. They should play, have fun and enjoy the experiences like a typical child before starting more serious stages of their life, that they are supposed to be more responsible for. Some parents forget this and start formal education much earlier, registering their children to primary schools or signing them up for various academic classes. These type of children may later find it hard to fit in with their peers as they might have become socially awkward or too intelligent.
In conclusion, while it might be advantageous for young children to start school early, since they can develop earlier than their peers, I side with those who claim they should not attend school until older because they are more prepared for school education and they must enjoy their childhood.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s opinion, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The body paragraphs each discuss a single point of view, but the connection between these points could be made clearer with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, the phrase “juveniles can have certain benefits starting school early” is a bit confusing, as juveniles typically refer to older children or adolescents. The term “youth” might be more appropriate in this context. Additionally, the phrase “the mind of the youth is not usually fully ready to deal with school subjects” could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be revised for clarity. For example, the phrase “children must enjoy their childhood while young” could be rephrased for clarity. The revised sentence could be “children should have the opportunity to enjoy their childhood while they are young.”
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing the writer’s opinion. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic. However, the body paragraphs could be more fully developed, with more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. The conclusion is clear and relevant to the topic, but it could be more comprehensive. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.