Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children's story books are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities
Some people think that children who
spend a lot of time reading children’s
story books are wasting their time
which could be better used doing
other more useful activities.
To what extent do you agree?
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, but the body paragraphs could be more detailed and focused. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt, and there is some repetition of ideas.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Provide more detailed examples to support your points.
- Avoid repetition of ideas.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there is some awkward or incorrect word choice, and some phrases are overused.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the majority of sentences are free of grammatical errors. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder understanding.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the counter-argument.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed examples to support your points.
- Consider addressing potential counter-arguments to strengthen your position.