some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. others beleive that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each others. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is an ongoing debate over the way of learning and working, with some saying that competition is crucial while others suggest the team work instead of the fact that competing against each other. I personally side with the proponents of the latter idea.
On the one hand, advocates of the former idea may think that competition at work, at school or in daily life can urge people to focus on their studies or work much carefully. For example, if employees are paid based on their knowledge, others will also be motivated. This leads that people may not only do the jobs on their shoulder, but they also try to learn something new that will considerably affect the productivity. However, in a competitive condition pupils may feel themselves as useless so that it works negatively. That makes that They may not even feel like continuing on their studies.
On the other hand, to cooperate can support people to learn each other. In this case people may feel free to ask peers the solutions to the problems they have. This may create opportunities to learn just at that moment. Moreover, cooperating can maximize the speed of the processes. Task division over team members can direct everyone to focus on their jobs. This can reduce time to spend completing the task.
In conclusion, there are some beneficial sides of competition such as increasing the productivity while this can be negative for those. In my opinion, working in a team at school or at workplace is urgent to support others.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the conclusion could use more formal language to better fit the essay’s academic tone.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are grammatically correct. However, there are a few errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and preposition use that can be distracting to the reader. Additionally, the conclusion could be more formally presented to better fit the academic tone of the essay.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal stance. However, the discussion could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support its points. Additionally, the conclusion could more effectively summarize the main points and clearly restate the writer’s opinion.