Some people think that competition at work at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to Cooperate more,rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that competing while working, studying at schools or in other places and also in daily life is a good habit, others however claim that cooperation is more valued instead of cometition. I believe that, cooperation is much better than competition.
On the one hand, competition among students or coworkers can be good for their improvement. As they will try to be better in everything than their classmates or coworkers. Competing enhances people’s critical thinking as well as their logic. They focus on their improvement in every aspect of life, while when one cooperates with them, it cannot affect as effective as competition. For example, I used to be competitive at school, especially in maths and physics, since these subjects were my favourite ones, when we were given an exercise to solve for short time of period to be the first one, because my teacher would give a present to the winner. Therefore, competition really helped me and to my classmates to improve those skills.
On the other hand, competition not always effective way to improve all your skills, as it requires being a rival even to ones friend. As a result, it can lead to lots of argues and disrespects between friends. So, cooperation is great solution to it. Being honest and not competing with each other, instead, trying harder to assist in everything leads to become truly frinds and one team. For instance, when one starts to work they might not know what to do, so at that time colleague explains everything without any hesitation or when one faces difficulties in their studies, their friend can assist them rather than laughing that they cannot understand that stuff.
In conclusion, even though competition improves people’s critical, logical thinking, they should not compete with each other, but work or study as a team and assist them during it.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the main points.

The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and precision.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, there are some errors in punctuation and spelling that can be distracting.

The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the discussion could be more balanced, with the writer’s opinion clearly stated in the conclusion. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s opinion.