Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned , while others think people should be free to choose
Certain individuals believe that risky sports should be prohibited, while others argue that people should have freedom to make their own choices. In this essay, I will discuss both arguments and it seems to me that it would be better people make decisions according to their own desire.
On the one hand, banning dangerous sports can be practical for some reasons. Firstly, the reason of safety concerns. Banning hazardous sports would protect individuals from serious injuries or even death. It is the responsibility of the government to ensure the safety of its citizens, and certain extreme sports pose unnecessary risks. Banning base jumping, which involves leaping off tall buildings with a parachute, and accidents have led to severe injuries and fatalities.
Moreover, dangerous sports can result in costly medical bills and burden the healthcare system. Banning them could potentially reduce strain on the healthcare services.
On the other hand, I think people ought to choose personally. It gives them personal freedom. People should have the autonomy to make choices about their own lives, including participating in dangerous sports. Restricting these activities infringes upon personal freedoms and individual autonomy.
For example, rock climbing can be dangerous, but many enthusiasts take precautions such as using safety equipment. In addition, dangerous sports often generate revenue and boost local economies through tourism, sponsorships, and related industries.
In conclusion, prohibiting this type of sport can cause safety concerns and public health costs. However, getting personal freedom and economic benefits are more useful for people.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your essay.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and provide detailed explanations and examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.