Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned while others think people should be free to choose
Some people think that risky sports have to be prohibited while others are in the opiniin of people should free to choose . I believe people should always be free to choose
First of all , there are some cases why some individuals think that hazardous sports have to be forbidden . The first reason is safety. Some people say that they have to be banned since safety is important and banning them would protect individuals from serious injuries or deaths. Second case can be public health costs . Whenever some individuals are injured seriously from dangerous sports,this can cost really expensive medical surgeries or medicines.
However, some people also think that they should be free to choose what they want to do or choose sports even if it is dangerous as they got to have personal freedom and make their own decisions. And also dangerous sports competitions
have a really great prizes for example large amount of money . They can get those prizes by participating in those competitions and winning.
In conclusion, while some people think dangerous sports should be banned, i am agree with people who think individuals have to be free to choose
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and lacks variety, which can make the essay less engaging to read. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas can sometimes be unclear. More effective use of cohesive devices and a clearer connection between ideas would improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is not repetitive or overused.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of synonyms is sometimes repetitive or incorrect. More varied and precise vocabulary, along with a better understanding of word choice and collocation, would enhance the lexical resource of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies that can hinder the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of punctuation is sometimes incorrect, which can affect the overall readability of the essay. More attention to grammatical accuracy, along with a better understanding of punctuation rules, would improve the grammatical range and accuracy of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic directly and presents a clear position, but the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay could benefit from a more thorough exploration of the reasons behind both viewpoints and a more detailed discussion of potential solutions. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and restating the position more clearly.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and support them with relevant examples and evidence.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.