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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that whether extreme sports should be banned or not, as some people are in favor of personal freedom. High-risk sports should be allowed to do with adequate precautions.
Two main benefits lie behind banning of them. One of them is safety concerns. Dangerous sports would bring serious problems to or even death to risk takers, as well as short-term entertainment. The government is responsible for its citizens’ safety and by banning them – the government does not worry about it- country will pay more attention to other important things, such as standard of living and urban infrastructure. Some sports, like jumping from the peak of the mountain with a parachute, may be ended with injuries and fatalities. Additionally, outlawing significantly affects public health costs, as risky sports cause high healthcare bills and long-term medical service. Prohibiting them can reduce the financial strain on healthcare services, allocating more money to other prioritized plans -such as education.
Notwithstanding, autonomy should be considered. If dangerous sports are free to take up, inhabitants would feel autonomy about their own lives. They could embrace opportunities such as giving a try to sports-like rock climbing or jumping from tall buildings-with taking precautions, such as receiving proper instruction and using tools without even a small glitch. Moreover, these sports are considered as core of revenue, as they can boost economy of tourism industry. Distinctive tourist attractions specialized for extreme sports due to unemployment when the government prohibits them. Extreme sports do not only provide individuals with entertainment, but also some people make a living with their jobs in this industry.
In conclusion, people should be free on their personal choices, although dangerous sports lead to health-related issues.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, with a good balance of simple and complex sentences. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could also benefit from a more detailed exploration of the implications of banning dangerous sports on the economy and society.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
  • Consider the implications of your argument on the economy and society, in addition to the health and safety of the individuals involved.
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