Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate over which way is the optimal about doing dangerous sports, with some saying they should be prohibited and others arguing that people can choose sports without any restrictions. In my opinion, while restrictions can prevent people from damaging themselves, they should be the shoulder responsibility of their own choices.
Banning dangerous sports can be an effective way to protect individuals from serious injuries or even death. It’s the responsibility of the government to ensure the safety of its citizens, and certain extreme sports pose unnecessary risks. For example, leaping off tall buildings with a parachute and accidents have led to severe injuries and fatalities.
However, personal freedom can be a superior position. This is because people should have the autonomy to make choices about their own lives, including participating in dangerous sports. Banning these activities infringes upon personal freedoms and individual autonomy. For example, rock climbing can be dangerous, but many enthusiasts take precautions such as using safety equipment and receiving proper training.
Doing dangerous sports can also generate revenue and boost local economies through tourism, sponsorship, and related industries. Banning these sports could lead to economic losses and unemployment in affected areas, for example, allowing the sport of bull riding, generating tourism and creating job opportunities for event organizers, bull breeders, and local businesses, while banning it could lead to economic losses in regions where it is population.
In conclusion, banning dangerous sports have their own unique advantages over freedom, as they protect our lives. That said, personal freedom is the best way to do sports because it can provide a sense of freedom and can foster the local economy.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and provide a clear topic sentence.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the conclusion could use more formal language to better fit the essay’s academic tone.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support its points. Additionally, the conclusion could more effectively summarize the key points and clearly restate the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and clearly restates your opinion.