Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a heated debate over the topic of extreme sports. While some criticise these sports as reaching the level of being forbidden, others prefer to feel a freedom while selecting an appropriate one. Despite, certain activities can be dangerous in some cases, I strongly believe that people have the right to choose whatever sport they want to try.
Proponents of former view cite various reasons to supports their stance. The primary one is high likelyhood of getting injuries in particular activities, doing which people put themselves under a high possibility of serious injuries – fractures, spinal injuries.Given this factor, it comes as no surprise that such types of hurts require expensive treatments that are not affordable for some parts of society making people to find money in terrible way in order to hold a surgery. This has a domino effect on social calmness, as it is a contibuting factor for arise in crime rates, a problem which in turn precipitates a large number of people to be punished,eventually leaving most of families losing their breadwinner.
In spite of the points convinced above, I claim that controll over humanities preferences should not take place. This is mainly attributed to peoples tendencies that are strong enough to cope with. Strong regulations towards peoples inclinations can be ineffective that even policy makers fail to arrange. Considering that society might stand against specific legislations, it is obvious that there is a potential danger of public division. Such turn of events reduce the countries status among others, eventually leaving it with poor reputation among other well-developed nations.
To conclude, true, dangerous exercises might result in increased crime rate, however, I think that rules opposing social bias might have bad outcomes.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas is not always clear. More effective use of cohesive devices and a clearer connection between ideas would improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make the connection between ideas more explicit to improve coherence.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. More practice with word choice and collocation would help to improve the lexical resource of the essay.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall interest and effectiveness of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes, which can detract from the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. More attention to grammar and punctuation, as well as a greater variety of sentence structures, would help to improve the grammatical range and accuracy of the essay.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples and explanations. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant, and the body paragraphs are well-organized and focused. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported, with more specific examples and a clearer focus on the implications of the argument for society. The essay effectively addresses the topic and provides a clear, well-supported argument. The writer demonstrates a good command of the topic and the language, with few errors. However, there is room for improvement in the depth and clarity of the argument, as well as the overall coherence of the essay.