Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some people think that risky sports have to be prohibited while others are in the opiniin of people should free to choose . I believe people should always be free to choose
First of all , there are some cases why some individuals think that hazardous sports have to be forbidden . The first reason is safety. Some people say that they have to be banned since safety is important and banning them would protect individuals from serious injuries or deaths. Second case can be public health costs . Whenever some individuals are injured seriously from dangerous sports,this can cost really expensive medical surgeries or medicines.
However, some people also think that they should be free to choose what they want to do or choose sports even if it is dangerous as they got to have personal freedom and make their own decisions. And also dangerous sports competitions
have a really great prizes for example large amount of money . They can get those prizes by participating in those competitions and winning.
In conclusion, while some people think dangerous sports should be banned, i am agree with people who think individuals have to be free to choose
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that can be distracting. Additionally, the use of informal language (e.g., “i am agree”) is not appropriate for an academic essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder understanding. Issues include incorrect verb forms, missing articles, and punctuation errors. Proofreading is essential to identify and correct these errors. Additionally, the use of informal language (e.g., “i am agree”) is not appropriate for an academic essay and should be avoided.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples to support each point. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well supported with specific examples.