Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss the both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that extreme sports should be prohibited, while others think they should be independent to choose. This essay will discuss both views and explain why risky sports should be outlaw.
Supporters of dangerous sports believe that individuals should have the freedom to make their own choices, including participation in extreme sports. This is mainly because, banning these activities influences personal freedoms and individual autonomy negatively. For example, rock climbing can be dangerous, however, many enthusiasts take precautions, such as using safety equipment and recieving proper training. They stongly believe prohibiting dangerous sports deprives them of economic benefits. It is clear that extreme sports often generate revenue and boost local economics through tourism, sponsorship, and related industries. Banning these sports could lead to economic losses and unemployment in affected areas. Consider bull riding as an example. Bull riding events draw large crowds, generate tourism, and create job opportunities for event organizers, bull breeders and local businesses. Prohibiting it could lead to economic losses in regions where it is popular.
On the other hand, the haters of these activities think that forbiding dangerous sports would protect imdividuals from serious injuries or even death. It is the responsibility of the government to ensure the safety of citizens, and certain extreme sports pose unnecessary risks. Banning base jumping in urban areas. This sport involves leaping off tall buildings with a parachute, and accidents have led to severe injuries and fatalities. Moreover, they think dangerous activities cause to issue which is related to public health costs. Dangerous sports can result in costly medical bills and burden the healthcare system. Banning them could potentially reduce the financial strain on healthcare services, freeing up resources for more essential medical needs.
In conculusion, while extreme sports offer us generating revenue, and creating job opportunities in related ares, it is creating some problems like safety concerns,and public health costs. In my opinion, despite of its economic benefits, dangerous sports should be banned.
Give me an IELTS band score with explanning very criteria

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be refined for better clarity and precision.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free of grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward phrasing, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear position throughout. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed, and the body paragraphs provide a balanced discussion of both views. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support its points.