Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organizations. Others think that it is practical aid and advice that is needed. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that international organizations should provide developing countries with financial support, while others claim that practical aid is more necessary for those countries. Personally, I think both views have their advantages and disadvantages.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why developing countries should be given financial support. Firstly, it enables governments to invest in important sectors such as healthcare, education and infrastructure. For example, money can be used to reconstruct hospitals or provide essential study tools for children in rural areas. Such investment mostly benefits for population, helping to improve living standards. Secondly, financial support allows countries to deal with immediate crisis, such as pandemic or natural disasters. For instance, organizations may provide with some food supplies and shelters for countries, which suffer with natural disaster, which might be difficult to solve without external help.
However, financial support not always effective way to help developing countries due to some reasons. Corruption in many countries is one the biggest problems, which means that given support do not reach to those in need. Instead, money might be wasted or used in inefficient purposes. For example, in Egypt half of given financial aid for people, who suffered from disaster were used on other projects. Moreover, relying on given support can create dependency, preventing countries from self growth. As a result, the same problems may occur in these countries.
On the other hand, practical assistance offers better approach to supporting developing nations. The key advantage of providing practical tools is transfer of knowledge and skills. For example, sending innovative agricultural tools to local farmers can lead to increased food production and economical growth. Similarly, well educated teachers from international organizations can help students with gaining knowledge, which may benefit even after experts leave.
In conclusion, while financial support can be beneficial in certain situations, I strongly believe that practical help is more valuable for developing countries.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

“However, financial support not always effective way to help developing countries due to some reasons.” This sentence is not grammatically correct and is unclear. It could be rephrased for clarity and accuracy.
“For example, in Egypt half of given financial aid for people, who suffered from disaster were used on other projects.” This sentence is awkward and unclear. It could be rephrased for clarity and precision.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Ensure that your sentences are grammatically correct and clear.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

“Such investment mostly benefits for population,” “the same problems may occur in these countries,” “the key advantage of providing practical tools is transfer of knowledge and skills.” These phrases are awkward and could be rephrased for clarity and precision.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

“However, financial support not always effective way to help developing countries due to some reasons.” This sentence is not grammatically correct. It could be rephrased for clarity and accuracy.
“For example, in Egypt half of given financial aid for people, who suffered from disaster were used on other projects.” This sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. It could be rephrased for clarity and precision.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated and supported. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay could be strengthened by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. For instance, when discussing the advantages of practical assistance, the writer could provide more detailed examples of successful projects that have provided practical aid to developing countries.