Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
There are heated debates over which is more important for health: doing exercise or having a diet. While some feel that, it is better to keep a balanced diet for human health others, including myself, believe that taking regular exercise is more useful.
Supporters of the former view have some arguments to justify their position. One of them is dieting helps prevent diseases that are currently spreading worldwide. A balanced diet provides essential nutrients like vitamins and minerals that required for overall body function. These nutrients help in preventing obesity and diet‐related illnesses such as diabetes and heart disease. In addition, healthy eating is also crucial for doing exercise and overal lwell-being. Because without a proper nutrition, the body make lack the energy that required to physical activities and it also can have bad influence on our immune system
I however, take issue with the idea that taking regular exercise is the basic necessity for our health. Firstly, If I list the benefits of morning exercise for mental health individual can feel more energized himself after a bit of exercise, and thanks to it individual will alive and kicking during the day. In fact, exercise releases endorphins, which reduces stress, anxiety and depression. So people can be more mentally healthy. Secondly, doctors often recommend regular exercise to patients suffering from obesity, respiratory or heart diseases. Because when a person moves, all his organs start working well, especially the lungs, which are necessary for breathing, and at the same time, a person can get rid of unnecessary body fat. For example, today we can see that many actors or overweight people are participating in fitness in order to get into shape. This means that physical activities are a very important factor for people’s overall health
In conclusion, although some argue that having a balanced diet is more important for health, I support those who argue that exercise is the key to health for the reasons which I mentioned above.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the argument difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas is not always clear. More explicit signposting language could help guide the reader through the essay and make the argument more persuasive. For example, using phrases like “On the other hand” or “Conversely” to introduce the opposing view could help improve the overall flow of the essay. Additionally, providing a more explicit link between the two main bodies of the essay could help improve overall coherence.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent and appropriate.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire, with a variety of vocabulary used effectively to convey the arguments. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised to improve clarity and precision. For example, the phrase “a person can get rid of unnecessary body fat” could be rephrased as “a person can reduce body fat” to be more concise and direct. Additionally, the phrase “individual can alive and kicking during the day” could be rephrased as “individuals can stay active and energized throughout the day” to be more clear and formal.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is a good range of structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and some sentences are difficult to understand. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively to convey the arguments. However, there are some grammatical errors that could be revised for clarity and precision. For example, the phrase “a balanced diet provides essential nutrients like vitamins and minerals that required for overall body function” should be revised to “a balanced diet provides essential nutrients such as vitamins and minerals that are required for overall body function” to ensure subject-verb agreement. Additionally, the phrase “a person moves, all his organs start working well, especially the lungs, which are necessary for breathing, and at the same time, a person can get rid of unnecessary body fat” could be rephrased for clarity and conciseness.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the introduction could be more concise and focused. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal stance. However, the introduction could be more concise and focused, with a clearer thesis statement. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and restating the personal stance.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and the writer’s position.
- Make sure to fully develop all arguments and provide specific examples where necessary.