Some people think that high-end technology can prevent and cut down the crime rate. Do you agree or disagree?
The scope of technology is vast and continually expanding and believed to prevent and reduce crime rates. Although it sometimes leads to cyberbullying, I agree with the view as surveillance technology tools play a pivotal role in crime prevention.
Some may argue that technology is offering the opposite of what it is actually supposed to achieve, often being responsible for cyberbullying on some social media platforms, especially Instagram, X (formerly Twitter), and Telegram. In other words, cyberbullying is becoming increasingly prevalent, which poses a serious threat to society. This happens when a cyberbully engages in unethical actions, such as sharing individuals’ embarrassing photos or bullying online, which makes an injured party mentally weak and insecure. According to the survey by UNICEF, most victims of cyberbullying are the frequent users of social media platforms, which is the main reason why those victims frequently get bullied. Therefore, technology platforms can sometimes be disadvantageous to some extent.
On the other hand, surveillance technology is becoming an indispensable tool in crime prevention, with CCTV cameras being one of the most foundational elements. Widely employed in various settings, ranging from schools to even transportation hubs, these cameras play a crucial role in monitoring public places and areas with elevated levels of crime. This means that the presence of cameras itself makes criminals concerned about their illegal actions being monitored, discouraging the offenders from committing crimes. Consider the example of Latin America where high crime rates are reported. After strategically placing the CCTV cameras in a number of subways of the region, the proportion of crime has dramatically fallen. This suggests that surveilling cameras are effective in preventing illegal activities.
In conclusion, while technology has some drawbacks like cyberbullying, other aspects of technology, surveillance tools such as CCTV cameras, have proven effective in crime prevention, ensuring public safety. Therefore, I strongly agree with the view.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be improved for clarity.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be improved to better introduce the topic and the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to provide a clearer and more engaging overview of the topic and your position.