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Some people think that hobbies are a waste of time , while others think that they are an essential part of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that hobbies are unuseful actually in free times other opposite this opinion.There are various opinions on this matter.
At first, l deeply agree this opinion. Because in life all things are important consider for human’s life. These things to include for human hobbies, activities and others. So firstly, in much cases many people do different hobbies after themselves hard works. Of course these hard works take many borings to human. Thus many individuals do with their personal hobbies. Morever, these most of hobbies are consider very useful. For example, play tennis or make different videos and drawing pictures or go to dance course and there to learn dance.
On the other hand, in this matter’s has opposite sides. In this situation l disagree this view. Because nowadays in the world all essential compares are technology. Thus people are using these technolgy in themselves life instead take useful hobbies. For example now a day a person play computer games or listening to musics for himself piece instead do useful hobbies. In this moment that person make ills for himself body. Thus these situations growth from day to day cause of development technolgy. Therefore many people believe this opinion.
In conclusion, this matter has both good and bad sides. I repeat to say that l believe mostly hobbies are useful in human’s leisure times. Actually many people do less to use from technolgy. So it will be useful for themselves.

4.5

The essay is somewhat organized, but the ideas are not clearly connected. There is a clear introduction and conclusion, but the body paragraphs could be more clearly structured. Transitions between ideas are weak, and the essay sometimes jumps from one idea to another without clear connections.

Suggestions
  • Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas.
  • Clearly structure your paragraphs to enhance coherence.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors. The essay contains several grammatical errors that can cause confusion. There are errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on the issue but fails to provide a clear position or consistent stance. The introduction and conclusion are somewhat repetitive and do not clearly state the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions
  • Develop your arguments more fully and provide more specific examples to support your points.
  • Ensure that your opinion is clearly stated and maintained throughout the essay.