Some people think that it is better to learn the way people lived in the past through films and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a belief that cinematography and video recordings are more effective than transcripts when it comes to learning about previous generations’ livelihoods. I completely agree with this statement due to the privileges that visual representation that texts cannot correspond to.
To start, there are some obvious benefits to presenting visuals while learning. First, it comes as no surprise that most people will not be able to visualize on their own the description of non-surviving products and machines. Take old phones as an example: lots of schoolchildren would not be able to come up with the image of them if asked. However, should they be shown a person using it in a video, they can quickly have a grasp of it. Second, trigerring more than one receptor is proven to be very effective for learning. Compared to route memorization of textbook, a record of a person showcasing a situating or an item while speaking with the comprehensive intonation can be of great use for sparking enthusiasm among the young.
As for the arguments against the use of cinematograpgy, they can easily be debunked. Although some people are concerned about misleading, these concerns can be eased with the help of professionals that can review the content that is being put out. Current social media atmosphere is a shining example of fact-checking and creating community notes to discourage misinformation from different sectors. Moreover, people are afraid that such representation can be used to amplify the bad of the other side to serve an agenda. While I agree that there are evil people everywhere, I think the cinematography and the learning environment consist of too many layers to corrupt them all, and the same can be told about the transcripts.
In conclusion, if we aim for better education of the people’s past, we must target more effective and interesting methods.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “trigering” should be “triggering,” and “dominant” might be a better choice than “dominant of the other.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “trigering” should be “triggering,” and “dominant of the other” might be better expressed as “superior to the other.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structures will help maintain the reader’s interest.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of cinematography and video recordings for learning about the past. The writer presents a clear thesis statement and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the main points. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the key points discussed and reinforcing the writer’s position.